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Calling Verizon or any cell carrier customer service can be a pain. The customer service rep you talk to might be friendly and incompetent, polite and uninformed or my favorite, just plain evil.

But there is one way to get someone very “agreeable” on the phone. The last time I called Verizon (by dialing 611 on my phone) I dealt with their voice recognition and chose “Cancel Service”. When you choose this option you get connected to a special group that is trained to keep you happy and convince you not to cancel service. The great thing is they won’t even ask you if you want to cancel your service, they will just try to make you happy.

It’s a sure shot way to always get excellent customer service!

I use the 5 blade battery powered fusion … and this prophetic 2004 Onion article might be the funniest thing ever written.

Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no.

Specifications Comparison:
Apple iPhone - 4.5 x 2.4 x 0.46″ 115 x 61 x 11.6mm
Motorola Q - 4.57 x 2.52 x 0.47″ 116 x 64 x 12mm
Palm Treo - 4.4 x 2.3 x 0.9″ 113 x 59 x 23mm

It is Half as thick as a treo and more compact than the Q.
It will cost $499 with a 2 year Cingular contract.
You will regret buying it. You will regret resisting it.
The iPhone has already won and it is mocking you.

Safety or Freedom?
Freedom asshole!

Think we should give up constitutional rights to feel safe?
Here is the best speech ever given on this subject.
Give me liberty or give me death!

Here are my favorite quotes from it:

The world is my track.

“A dream I had, 65 stay alive!”

Last month I’m on my way to work and I realized I’m late for a 10am meeting.
I decide to make up some time on the road… so I’m up at 140 with the top down zipping around cars, crossing the freeway, signaling of course.
I’m a big believer in signaling. I think if you can’t signal when pulling off maneuvers then you’re not in control of your car.
Anyway, It’s a huge rush, 140 feels very fast with the top down. I decide that I made up enough time and I slow down to about 75.
Two minutes later I see flashing lights behind me. Terror! Fear! Horror! Whats going to happen?
As I pull over with the cop behind me, I notcie that its not a trooper.
I turn my engine off, put my hands on the wheel…. I know the drill.
He walks up to my car as says, “I’m a xxxxx county law enforcement officer, give me your license and registration.”
As I’m getting my docs together for him I say, “Did I do something wrong Officer?.”
He says, “You’re kidding me right? How fast were you going?”
I say, “I believe I was going 65 Officer.”
He says, “I WAS GOING 80 AND YOU PASSED ME LIKE I WAS STANDING STILL! I COULDN’T CATCH UP TO YOU!”
As a note, the only reason he did was because I slowed down…
Then he says, “HOW MANY LANESSSS DID YOU CROSS?”
He’s referring to the fact that I was crossing the whole highway back and forth to get around folks… you can’t really high beam people at 140 to get them to move, no time.
I reply, “BUT I WAS SIGNALLING!” (and I was … signaling my heart out, watching the radar and being super duper alert)
He says, “I have a fast motorcycle (at home) and I know what over 100 is, and you were going over 100! How fast were you going? You better be honest with me or your in big trouble!”
Now I’m thinking, “If you know what over a 100 is on your bike, why the fuck are you busting my balls?”
I say, “I can’t say that I was staring at my speedometer, but I know I was going 65.”
Now I’m thinking, maybe I better tell the truth, but a louder voice in my head says, “Don’t incriminate yourself retard.” and thats the one I listen to.

He takes my docs back to his car. Needless to say I am sitting in my car terrified and praying to Jesus and God (I’m Jewish) that I don’t get in trouble.
He comes back to my car a minute later and says, “I didn’t get you with radar.”
I’m thinking, “Yeah, I know asshole I have the most expensive radar detector made.”
He continues, “You’re lucky I don’t have time to wait for a trooper, because I’d vouch that you were driving carelessly/recklessly. If I catch you in xxxxx county I’m gonna give you two tickets, one for then and one for now”.

And…. He lets me go! I am thanking God, Jesus, Moses and all the saints!!!!! And swearing to myself I will not do that again.
Needless to say I have very rarely broken 3 digits since then.